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Local company sells books "by the yard" for your Zoom background

Submitted by editor on Fri, 10/23/2020 - 17:46
Area man uses books background to improve his image

Never look like a dunce on Zoom again!

Local startup Selfix Inc. will sell you enough books to act as a background for your next Zoom meeting. Impress your friends; intimidate your enemies.

Have you ever been impressed by your workmates' Zoom backgrounds? If you've been feeling insecure about never having read a single book in your life, here's your chance to impress all those meeting participants in a single sweep. Instead of people seeing the shabby little place you live in, this solution will raise you to new levels.

"People know if you're using a digital background", says Susan Warner, Selfix's CEO and founder. "Our solution is indistinguishable from the real thing. With us, you'll appear like the super educated person you're not. You'll impress your friends and foes alike. It's the perfect solution for the stay-at-home, remote worker".

"The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made" - Jean Giraudoux.

In reality, the company does not actually sell books, old or otherwise. They sell you the spines of hundreds of books that appear like the real thing, but which don't waste any precious space in your home. 

When you buy Selfix's product, you can specify whether you'd like to mix in heavy, hard-to-read books like James Joyce's Ulysses with large, obvious to read fonts. In addition, you can specify foreign languages: anything from Japanese to Italian. It's guaranteed to impress all those stuffy workmates and business acquaintances.

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