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Area man arrested for having beard; Cop was sure he was "thinking bad thoughts".

Submitted by editor on Wed, 10/21/2020 - 10:17

Local man Denny Garrison was arrested on Abbey St. downtown today for having what city police called a "bad boy beard" in public. Sargent Frank Stones of second precinct said he "knew the type", and was convinced some crime was about to be committed. The sargent decided to "nip the problem in the bud", as he put it, and arrest the would-be criminal "before any trouble started".

Mister Garrison, on the other hand, said he had simply grown the beard because he was unable to visit a barber for six months so far of the pandemic. This was the first day in months he could "freely walk the streets of the city", Garrison said. The polics officer said it was a "bare faced lie".

"It appears innocuous at the beginning", says Frank Stones. "One minute they're growing a beard, and the next minute they're robbing banks, killing people, and doing other bad things beardy people do".

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